It's Yours
by ithinkyoushouldknow
Summary: Post-Mockingjay/Pre-Epilogue. Katniss and her feelings. When Katniss finds herself awake from her nightmares, she sneaks into Peeta's house and pours her heart out.


**Hello, all. I have another Peeta x Katniss (Peeniss) story. This is something that came to mind while I was watching one of my dramas. It's just Katniss and her feelings.**

**Have you seen the movie? Because I've seen it three times haha. I liked it. It was a good adaptation but I wouldn't call it amazing. Jennifer Lawrence though...admit it, we all have a crush on her LOL.**

**Anways, I hope you all like my story :)**

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><p>I jolt from my bed, the nightmare hanging over my head as tears stream down my face. My forehead is slick with sweat and I wipe it with the back of my hand. I choke in a sob, my breathing hard and heavy as I try to wash away the memories that leave me clawing my own skin. My head spins, my mind bleeding at the thought of the games, of the people that died because of the spark that I unknowingly ignited, the fire that burned with me along with the blood and roses of President Snow.<p>

The breeze from the open window swipes at my exposed skin and I shudder, reaching for the blanket at the foot of my bed. I sniffle, my fingers wiping my tear-stained face and I try to calm my laboured breathing. My eyes dance around the darkness, blinking rapidly as I look at the four corners of my room before I stop and catch Peeta's open window.

I leap from my bed and run out of my room and out of my house before I can stop myself. It's not until my feet touch the ground that I notice I'm barefoot. The dewy grass prick at the sole of my feet and I jump slightly at the contact before I stalk around Peeta's yard and find myself in front of his door. I take a deep breath, my hands clutching at the side of my nightdress before I reach for the knob and twist it open. His door is always unlocked, as if he's waiting for me to come to him and welcome me in his arms.

The door creaks and I stop midway before I slide myself in his house. My feet touch the cold floor and I hiss at the contact. A shiver runs through my body as I let the coldness creep into my skin. I tiptoe my way through the stairs, holding my breath with each step I take. I feel like a burglar sneaking in, afraid of getting caught.

My heart bangs against my chest as I find myself facing his bedroom door. Silence fills my ears. I silently count from one to ten before I stick my head in his slightly open door. I catch my breath when my eyes find his sleeping form and slip my body in the confines of his room. I step slowly towards his bed, my feet light like in the woods when I'm hunting.

I drink in his sleeping form. He has his back against the window, his right arm cradling his head while his left arm is splayed across the bed as if searching for something to hold…or someone. His blonde hair falls from his eyes and I stop the urge to reach out and brush it away from his face. He suddenly turns his body and I freeze. I notice the rise and fall of his chest as he takes a deep breath and I know that he's still sleeping. I release the breath that I unknowingly have been holding and take a step closer to his bed. I look at his face. His long eyelashes still takes my breath away. I smile at the memory of him drawing beside me while I looked at him and studied his face for the first time and noticed how his blonde eyelashes looked almost invisible against the sunlight.

My eyes travel to the length of his face and frown when I see the black and purple painted under his eyes. He rarely sleeps, I thought to myself when I remember that he also fights with his nightmares and the episodes from the tracker jackers. I wonder if he gets any sleep at all.

He turns his head to face me. His hair is covering his eyes and this time, I reach my hand to brush it away from his face. I let my fingers get tangled in the strands of his hair. I feel him stir and I yank my hand away afraid that he has woken up. Fortunately, he hasn't. His eyebrows wrinkle and his forehead creases and it looks like he's having a nightmare. For a moment, I feel terrified not knowing what to do but his features goes back to normal. He looks peaceful. In this light, it looks as if the Capitol hasn't played with him, destroyed him, and made him into something that he feared. He looks like the Peeta who I knew before – innocent, untainted, and full of love. But they destroyed him, took away his sanity and gave him scars. I almost cry at the thought of losing him. I almost lost him.

I could still hear his words in my ears and guilt washes over me. "It was all for the games," he said and hurt marked his face.

"It wasn't all for the games, Peeta," I whisper. I allow myself to look at him and let my eyes travel to his nose and to his lips and I touch my own, remembering all those times we kissed. "I miss you," I breathe. I don't want any more than to crawl beside him and have his strong arms embrace me and feel his warmth against my body. "I miss you so much." I could never say this when he's awake, at least I wouldn't allow myself to say it. This time, he's asleep and I will myself to let everything flow out of my mouth and out of my chest.

"When the Capitol took you…I didn't know what to do, Peeta. I was powerless against Snow. I thought he killed you. I thought you died." I suck air from my nose and heave a breath. I remember how I reacted of his disappearance and thought of how my mom was when my father died. We weren't any different. I was helpless without Peeta – hiding behind closets and sucking in morphine like it was my lifeline. I draw in a bitter laugh. I couldn't admit it then but I can't live without Peeta.

"I thought I lost you…" I pause. "I thought I lost you but I saw you on T.V. from the Capitol, and…gosh, Peeta. You don't know how much I wanted to run inside the T.V. and have you in my arms again." I wipe the tears that fall from my eyes and I sigh. I can feel my heart constricting in my chest. "I just wanted you with me," I continue.

"When they rescued you, I was so happy. I wanted so bad to kiss you and hug you and tell you how glad I was that you were safe and alive but you…" I stop and I swallow in a sob. I close my eyes as I remember the time his hands didn't caress me but strangled me. "You hated me. You wanted to kill me." I give out a shaky breath and I continue, "You broke my heart." Tears are now free-falling from my eyes but I ignore it. I continue to talk, not caring if he's going to wake up and hear everything anymore. "I'm selfish but I wanted you to continue loving me," I laugh through my tears. "Because who else would love me unconditionally besides Prim? And Gale," I breathe. My voice quivers at the mention of his name. "It was never Gale."

I look at him again and admire his soft face. What have I done to this boy? I helped the Capitol destroy him. I broke him. It hurts to see him so broken and damaged. It hurts to see him into something that he's not, something that he was most afraid of happening. And I did all of it, I made him into something terrible. Because he saw me for who I really am: manipulative, selfish, and cruel. I ran away from him when he needed me the most. I think back to what Haymitch said to me – that if it was me who was captured and tortured, Peeta would never give up on me. But I was too weak, helpless, and scared.

"I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough for you, Peeta," I whisper. I let my right hand find his and entwine our fingers together. "I wonder," I say. "I wonder if I rip my heart out and give it to you, would you take it?" I look at his face expectantly as if he's going to reply. "Would you take all of me and the love I have for you? Because even if you hate me. Even if you forget me…" I pause as I take a deep breath and close my eyes. I open my eyes and find myself staring at blue crystals and I stop breathing. I want to take my hand out of his grasp and run away and hide but I stop myself. His eyes look straight at me and I don't look away. I lock my eyes with his and finish my sentence in an audible whisper, "even if you forget me, my heart still belongs to you."

**Fin.**


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